Head Fakes & Enthusiasm

Posted by Nate

on June 14, 2008

There has been a lot of upheaval in my life recently. Many things have worked out in unexpected ways, some great, some awful. I wasn’t sure if my time in DC had come to an end 3 months ago, and now I’ve just finished my first week at a new job in Chevy Chase. I’ve always loved the movie “Defending Your Life” and the rollercoaster of recent events has brought it to mind yet again. I think the idea I liked from the movie, that overcoming who we are, that being brave not only when we have to be to survive but when we have to be to learn and grow, continues to ring true to me. The more things I see and do, the more I’m humbled by the difficulty in remaining brave and true to who I am and what I believe in the midst of turmoil and chaos. I try to remember that idea, that it’s about overcoming fear, but fail frequently to. (Another one of my childhood loves, Dune, carries the same message “Fear is the Mind Killer” as I suppose do so many teachings. In fact it seems like most of what we as humans do in our unproud and debased moments do is a result of fear. Often the biggest challenge in overcoming that fear is in simply identifying what exactly we’re so afraid of. Those fears, like the monsters in our closet, don’t stand up well to the light of day and reason, it’s just a matter of finding the right door to open or the right bed to shine some light under in our minds.

With all that’s been going on, I’ve found myself going over my priorities, my decisions, my passions, and my goals. (Even more than is normal for a Quaker. A big part of that has been focusing on listening and trying to understand the feedback and input I’ve gotten both from people in my life and from my own reaction to it. While I’ve always loved quotes, well turned words, and even the odd speech, I find myself more and more becoming fascinated with how we learn, and those that teach. It’s not been an easy road, partly due to my own combative and often confrontational personal experience with educational systems. Both in high school and in college I often felt like I was battling my teachers and institutions in various ways. They seemed so much more likely to produce conformity than enlightenment, to stifle rather than to inspire.

As a result, or perhaps just as a precursor, I’ve always had a a bit of pride and vanity about my ability to learn on my own, to be better educated through my own hand than a teacher’s. As I get older I’m more aware of my own blindspots and shortcomings, both as a teacher and as a student, more aware of my weaknesses and continued failures. Each new year makes me realize how often the lesser angels of my soul still hold a mighty sway within me. While I suppose I feel some joy in a growing ability to be self critical and to investigate not just defend my weaknesses, it has also motivated me to suck up my pride and try and learn from others experiences. At this point I’d rather grow than admire my hard earned, and costly self learned lessons. This whole process feels quite ironic to me though, as it’s not that far from where I started with my love of empirical learning, hopefully just with a more full and diversified curriculum.

(Read beyond the cut for more)

So on to the teachers. The following are just a smattering of what I’ve been listening to and who I’ve been trying to glean some wisdom from:

Randy Pausch: Scientists tend to speak to me more than others. I’m not sure if it’s a shared nerdiness, their careful thoughtful reasoning, or just the fact that I’m bad with metaphor, but whatever the reason I tend to dig scientists. (One of my favorites being Richard Feynman, who incidently I saw played by Mathew Brodrick in some terrible movie recently, what an awful casting job!) Anyhow Randy Pausch is dying of cancer, and he gave what has become known as “The Last Lecture” which was popularized even further by a reduced version of it given on Oprah. The full lecutre is below, as well as his 2008 graduation speech to Carnegie Mellon students.

Those who’ve been keeping up with me over the last six months know that I’ve grown to love Parker Palmer as well. He’s a noted Quaker thinker on education, and founded the Center for Courage & Renewal:

Some other great speeches by Parker Palmer:

How do you find the right work, the work that you alone are called to do? The first step is to ask a different question…

The Courage to Teach

Leading from Within: Reclaim Selfhood in Professional Life

J.K Rowling may write pop-fiction for young adults, but she’s got a lot to say to the rest of us as well…

What Cheesy E-Mail forwards can’t teach you a few things?

You might be wrong…

Even worse, but reading this I realized I was the girl this guy wouldn’t date more than I was the guy trying to avoid the crazy girl…

Ted Talks… So many that are so good!

Jonathan Harris: The Web’s secret stories

Nick Bostrom: Humanity’s biggest problems aren’t what you think they are

Ben Dunlap: The story of a passionate life